Twelve-year old girl I tutor may be very different than I was at twelve, but she has an amazing brain that produces the most random of thoughts. Here are a few samples. I've given context when there is one, so don't think that this would make more sense if you had been there. Often these include her vocabulary sentences. I'm sure you remember these: teacher gives you a list of words to define and then use them in a sentence to show you know what they mean. 12's sentences do not suggest that she knows what they mean 90 percent of the time. They suggest that she is awesome.
12 (randomly while working on math): I wish there was a giant kangaroo that didn't hurt people and would hug me.
12 (also randomly during same assignment): I like singing about fruitcake.
(12 has read her mock trial script in a bizarre accent)
dangersecond: what kind of accent was that?
12: Alien man cowboy French Canadian.
12 (randomly during Spanish homework): What's the difference between a bluebird and a humming bird?
dangersecond: Ok, 12, do you want to do your vocabulary sentences now?
12: That's like asking a goat to turn into a dog and bark, that's how unnatural it is.
12 (when asked to spell the word "truce"): I don't know how to spell it because its something that you do when you don't wanna commit suicide.
12's vocabulary sentence for the word "dread": I'm very dreadful because I just saw an imitation crab crab. Its made of wood and imitation crab and covered in fish guts.
12's vocabulary sentence for "fleet": The fleet of goats were attacked by pigeons.
12's vocabulary sentence for "suspicious": Whenever someone says the word 'suss' I get suspicious because they remind me of Nazis.
12 (after her pen has died): I want a funeral for my dear, beloved Penjamin. He died suddenly, when he ran out of ink.
The following sentences all took place today while we were studying for her History exam about life during the Early and High Middle Ages:
dangersecond: What were leisure activities like in Medieval Europe?
12: Dancing, gambling and getting scolded by the church.
dangersecond: What kind of punishments did courts deliver during the middle ages?
12: Scold you and throw tomatoes at you.
dangersecond: What were some common diseases during the middle ages?
12: Baloney and death and leopard disease. (she was trying to think up "the black death" or "the bubonic plague" and "leprosy")
dangersecond: Why were homes uncomfortable during this era?
12 (adjusting the shorts she has to wear under her uniform while answering): Because they lived in uncomfortable houses and wore uncomfortable shorts.
12 (while writing a description of a "time travel tour" across the pilgrimage during Jesus' time for her religious ed class): ... you will spend each night of your trip with chickens and stuff...
(while talking about going to church in different languages)
dangersecond: I've been to mass in Latin before with Ninva.
12: I'd like to go to Latin church because you can interpret your own God. God's saying its ok to have crystal meth!
(12 is reading a list of Spanish verbs. I have just told her that she needs to enunciate more)
12: Wouldn't it be cool if every time you said a verb you became constipated?
dangersecond: ...no.
12 (While reading about Biblical foods, including dates): I never knew candy could be bad until I had a date.
(More vocabulary sentences on a different day)
12's sentence for "determined": The determined warrior was about to return home when she saw a taco stand.
12's sentence for "occurred": What has occurred in the living room is a disasster because I just found out that Harry Potter is gay.
dangersecond (upon reading): 1) That sentence isn't going to fly at your all girl's Catholic school. 2) That doesn't really make sense to describe what "occurred means". 3) No he's not.
12: Yes he is. I read the secret chapter on the internet.
dangersecond: What secret chapter?
12: He's gay with Malfoy but they wouldn't let that be in the book. So its just hidden on the internet. You have to search for "Harry Potter Secret Gay".
dangersecond: Now its time for you to learn about fan fiction.
12: First, can you tell me why they needed Vaseline?
